


trust your own self control

by magicalminki



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Alyssa is mentioned for now, But he's trying, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hamish is a good leader, I took some liberties with the knights' lore bc I can, Jack is never around, Light Angst, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Werewolves, berserker Randall, best wingperson Lilith, its subtle in the beginning at least, mostly just the knights being a family and helping randall, well more like the knights learning how to be a "pack"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 15:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalminki/pseuds/magicalminki
Summary: “You were out longer than we expected.” That was code for: we were worried about you, but also kind of scared you’d attack us if we looked for you.And, yeah, okay. He feels like shit because he’s supposed to be the lovable idiot with a bit of a savior complex and instead, he’s making his friends worry while he throws tantrums that could seriously hurt them. He’s starting to feel not-so-worthy of his title as knight and maybe now is the best time to stop before he-“You’re thinking way too loud, cut it out.”Hamish grabs him, one hand on his shoulder while the other rests on his nape, forces Randall to look at him.“Listen to me. You’re one of us, you’ll always be one of us- we’re not going to stop trying to find a way to help you, even if we can’t find a way to take that damn thing out of you.”Or: What if the Knights weren’t able to get the berserker seal out of Randall because the implant was too close to his vital points?feat. Best wing-person Lilith, resistant & always distracted Jack, hot-headed Randall, and patient pack leader Hamish. (also a ton of UST)





	trust your own self control

**Author's Note:**

> So, I binged the order and found myself a bit disappointed by the lack of pack feels the Knights gave me and decided to amend that because they have potential. Also, while writing this I imagined their wolf forms to look more... wolf-like than the show depicts just because it makes some of the scenes flow better. I don't own the show or any of the characters. And yes, Hamish & Randall are my takeaway ship from this show, don't judge.

Somehow, amidst the anger and confusion tinting his vision red, Randall feels himself being pressed to the floorboards. He panics and snarls his frustration, _since when did he snarl at his friends_ , fighting against the weight on his back. Distantly, he knows something’s wrong with him and that his friends are trying to help, but he can’t stop the panic rising in his chest and he can’t _think._ In the end his struggling proves moot when he feels a sudden force slam against his temple and just like that he’s cloaked in darkness.

 ****

He dreams he’s running, full wolf, in the moonlight. He hears howling and shoots off after the sound, runs until he comes to a clearing. There, illuminated by the moon, is Tundra. Then more figures rush through the trees and into the clearing-Timber and Silverback ( _Pack_ , his wolf rumbles)- Greybeard trots into the light and howls along with the other wolves before racing after their leader.

 ****

When he comes to on the couch, he’s met with solemn faces and Jack is nowhere to be found. He pushes himself upright and flicks his eyes between Lilith and Hamish, “Everything alright, guys? Did Jack get into some weird magic shit and had to bail again?”. His wobbly smile falls completely when neither of his friends react, only looking at each other meaningfully. Oh, he knows that look, that’s the look Lilith and Hamish give each other when they’re having an argument, but they don’t want Randall to hear so they kind of just communicate with a series of deadly glares and cut-off grunts. By the time they turn to him, Randall’s deduced that they’ve either killed Jack’s girlfriend and eaten her heart or finally agreed on what place to order takeout from.

Hamish takes small steps toward him with his hands out placatingly, “Randall, I need you to stay as calm as possible.”

So, it’s the girlfriend then. Damn, Jack really liked her too, even though Randall personally didn’t get the appeal.

“Oh, no, I’m good. I mean, Jack probably isn’t, and you could’ve waited for _me_ until you ate her heart, but I’ll get over it.”

Hamish gives him a weird look, then glances back at Lilith, who rolls her eyes and stomps closer to the couch. She breathes through her nose like she’s contemplating killing everyone in the room, heavy-handedly slaps Randall’s thigh right above the knee- no he does _not_ let out an undignified yelp at the action- and stares him down.

“Randall, we couldn’t get the seal out of you. It’s been a day since Hamish knocked you out- “,

“Hamish did what! Why would you do that?”

Suddenly, he feels overcome with rage. _How could his pack turn on him like this?_ Distantly, he hears the calls for him to calm down, breathe. He knows it isn’t a big deal but he can’t stop it. The longer he tries to fight the anger that’s welled up inside of him, the stronger it gets until he can no longer fend off the blistering heat and bolts out of the den, stripping frantically and shifting in almost an instant. He runs until he can’t hear the echoes of his pack calling him, until he’s certain they aren’t following his trail. He takes his anger out on trees, mostly. Okay, maybe he killed a few small animals too, but maybe if he brings them back to Tund- Hamish, he’ll be forgiven with little more than a nip to the ear. _Wait, what?_ The Knights don’t act like that with each other, not even as the wolves, so why does Greybeard keep urging him to? Maybe he should get back to the den and see if any of those old journals say anything about it.

 

It’s past midnight when Randall finally returns to the den. He creeps in, spotting Lilith passed out on the couch and figures the coast is clear when he can’t find Hamish. He walks down into the collection of books and lore the knights have amassed over the years, not sure exactly what to look for but hellbent on finding out what’s going on with him (aside from the whole berserker-seal-still-being-stuck-inside-him thing). Randall stares at the book shelf, scanning every cover until he comes across a leather-bound book with frayed edges. He slides it out, feeling the smoothness of the cover and unwrapping it as he walks towards the table pushed against the wall. Clearing papers and pencils from the surface, he sits and places the tome down before flipping to a random page. Randall lets a small gasp fall from his lips, in awe of the detailed sketches that depict the knights in vivid imagery. One drawing in particular catches his attention, showing two wolves howling at a pale moon. Underneath the wolves lie a caption, “Although we do not require her presence to shift, we are still the moon’s children. Pack runs in the moonlight strengthen our bonds with each other and ourselves.”

Randall begins turning to the next page when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Closing the book, he spins around and comes face to face with Hamish. His friend gives him a tired smile, so small it’s barely there.

“You were out longer than we expected.” That was code for: we were worried about you, but also kind of scared you’d attack us if we looked for you. And, yeah, okay. He feels like shit because he’s supposed to be the lovable idiot with a bit of a savior complex and instead, he’s making his friends worry while he throws tantrums that could seriously hurt them. He’s starting to feel not-so-worthy of his title as knight and maybe now is the best time to stop before he-

“You’re thinking way too loud, cut it out.”

Hamish grabs him, one hand on his shoulder while the other rests on his nape, forces Randall to look at him. “Listen to me. You’re one of us, you’ll always be one of us- we’re not going to stop trying to find a way to help you, even if we can’t find a way to take that damn thing out of you.”

“But-“

“No ‘buts’. We’ll figure it out. Okay?” Hamish is staring him down in that way he does when he wants Randall to stand down, the subject will no longer be discussed. So, Randall does what he always does after receiving the stare, and nods, conceding for now. Hamish’s smile is back, but it’s a little wider this time, and Randall can’t help the smile he gives in return. His eyes catch on the book on the table, and probably for the first time in his life, decides to be responsible.

“Hey, Hamish? I think we need to talk about something else too.”

“Can it wait until morning?” Randall lays his palm on the book’s cover and considers asking Hamish to wake Lilith up, or to ask if he’s had any strange dreams like him. Then he looks at his friend’s tired eyes and mussed up hair. It’s only until morning.

“Yeah, man. Let’s go to bed.”


End file.
